Bella’s POV
I was sitting on Edward’s bed trying to kiss him. He gently pushed me back. “Not now Bella, we have to talk about the wedding.” What the hell!!! That’s all he ever wants to do now, is talk about the wedding…
“Seriously, Edward? What else is there left to talk about?” I felt my voice rising. I was getting so irritated with all this nonsense. “Alice has already planned everything, what do you want to discuss?” I was trying to get this conversation over with so I could resume kissing my fiancé. I had heard all of this before.
“Well, umm…,” he was stalling and I was getting pissed. Everyday he was growing more distant, always pushing me away, or leaving me alone. Well not alone. I had been spending more time with Jasper than anyone.
“If you don’t want me just tell me you don’t want me Edward and stop making excuses already! We’re getting married! Who cares what colors the flowers are? As long as at the end of the day I am your wife and you are my husband, who cares if ribbons are satin or silk!”
“Bella, I can’t believe you don’t care about our wedding. The only reason you want all this is so you will get to become a vampire isn’t it? Do you even really want to marry me?” WHAT?! Is he serious? Does he really believe that?
“WHAT?! How can you even ask me that? Is that really what you think?! You know what Edward, forget it! I don’t want to marry you. If you think that’s really why I want to marry you then maybe we shouldn’t go through with this.” I was surprised at how calm I was after I said that. I held my engagement ring between my fingers and slowly slid it off. He looked hurt for a second or two.
“Bella don’t be ridiculous!” That’s it. I’m tired of his condescending crap. He walked towards me so he could try and give me a hug, but I was already too upset for that. I’m done with his games. I pulled away and he tried again. Now I was furious. I shoved him back, with no success, and he just looked at me. When he finally let go of me, I began to storm out of the room, “Bella wait, I’m sorry…”
“NO. No more Edward. I see this is never going to work. We are supposed to be getting married in two weeks and all we do is argue. You seem more like a friend than my fiancé. I know you agree because you are trying not to argue with me. We can’t do this anymore.” I didn’t want to turn and look at him. I was barely holding together and if I looked at him I would fall apart, I just knew it. “Here Edward,” I turned to talk to him and he was right behind me. I looked him straight in the eyes and placed the ring in his palm. “It’s just not going to work.” I placed my hand on his cheek. He grabbed my wrist and held my hand to his face. He closed his eyes and took a deep unneeded breath.
“Bella, I don’t…,” He began, but I couldn’t let him start or I knew I would just be doing the same thing in a week.
“It’s okay, Edward, this is what we both want. Don’t make it harder than it has to be on either of us.” I felt my tears begin to blur my vision. I pulled my hand away from his face and ran out of the room.
God I hope I don’t trip on the stairs, I thought to myself as I ran past everyone. I noticed Jasper get up to stop me, but he ended up just letting me pass. I knew he would let me go and stop anyone who tried to follow me. I ran to the end of the yard and stopped. I sank to wet ground, and tried to regain my composure. What just happened? I can’t believe I just told Edward I didn’t want to marry him. I knew I should be more upset but all I felt was defeat. He got his way, we would never have sex, and I wouldn’t be changed. I knew I only had a few more moments to myself before Jasper would come out. I sat on the ground and wrapped my arms around my knees. I took a deep breath and realized that I wasn’t surprised that all this happened. I never felt good enough for Edward, and I definitely knew I didn’t fit in with the Cullens. Well it was better that I called it off, instead of Edward. I can try to keep a little of my dignity. I heard footsteps, but I could tell it wasn’t Jasper or Edward.
I turned and saw Carlisle walking toward me. I wasn’t expecting him, but it made sense. He would have heard what happened.
“Bella,” he said. I looked at him and wanted to cry.
“Carlisle, I…”
“Don’t dear, unfortunately I heard what happened and before Jasper comes out here, I want to talk to you.” He knew us all too well. He knew Jasper would be here to comfort me and rushed to beat him to the punch. I smiled at the thought of Jasper. And I knew Carlisle noticed too.
Carlisle’s P.O.V
I found Bella sitting in the garden. I knew I had to hurry because Jasper would be joining her soon. I could hear Alice, Edward and Jasper arguing, and when Jasper saw me talking to Bella, he nodded signaling he would wait until I was done talking.
I didn’t know what was happening to my family. We weren’t growing apart. We were just gravitating towards others’ mates rather than our own. Alice and Edward got much closer, while Bella and Jasper were quickly growing fond of each other. For Emmett and Rosalie, to say they were not doing so well would be the understatement of the century and we should know. Their fighting had increased and they hadn’t been intimate with each other in almost three months now. I knew there was something very wrong with them. And Esme, well all I can say about that is she’s not around much. She’s always looking for work or going to look at new places. I felt the rift in our relationship, but I wasn’t really concerned with that. I knew as long as my children were here with me and happy, no matter who they were with, I would be okay.
“Bella don’t cry, no matter what, you will always be part of this family. Just because you are not going to marry Edward doesn‘t mean anything. You will be a part of this family forever. I know you will.” I put my arm around her shoulder and pulled her into my chest and let her sob. For a human she really did smell good. I hadn’t felt another’s touch in a long time. It was nice to feel like I could at least comfort her in some way. I heard Edward and Alice leave through the front yard.
“Great!” she exclaimed. “I’ll be a sad, lonely, virgin vampire just like Edward!” and she sobbed more. I tried not to burst out laughing when she said that because it was kind of funny. I heard Jasper chuckle at her outburst. I looked and saw him standing on the patio and nodded to him.
“Somehow Bella I hardly think you will ever be lonely,” I smiled and glanced over her head. She looked over her shoulder and saw Jasper too.
She smiled and looked back at me. “If it were only that simple,” she whispered.
I grabbed her chin in my hand and looked her straight in her eyes “Bella things can be a lot more simple than you think. Don’t fight it. Being happy is all that matters, even if it isn’t with Edward.” I smiled, “Enjoy your chat with Jasper.” I walked away. I hope she realizes she’s stuck with us. Forever.
Bella‘s P.O.V.
Carlisle disappeared around the house, and Jasper was all of a sudden sitting next to me. I was relieved to feel him there. I didn’t want to be alone, and Jasper was great company. We had begun to spend a lot of time together recently. I never really noticed how handsome Jasper was, until recently after one of the many fights Edward and I had been having. He caught me one time when I had tripped on the stairs and had held me so gently. When I looked into his eyes, I realized he was absolutely gorgeous, and not just because he was a vampire.
“You don’t have to come babysit me Jasper. I know they sent you to check on me.” I knew he would check on me anyway. He was becoming a really great friend, and I was beginning to feel an attraction towards him that was more than friendly.
“Do you think I just do whatever they say? I came out because I was worried about you. I just wanted to see how you were doing.” I knew he did. I just liked to hear him say it. I knew he knew how I was feeling.
“Like you don’t already know,” I smiled. He had a way of making me feel better without even trying. “You probably know better than I do,” I joked with him.
“Yes, I do,” he said matter of factly. I smiled and rolled my eyes while nudging him slightly on the shoulder. “But that doesn’t mean I still can’t come out here and try to help.” He was always sweet, and he let me feel what I needed to feel. He could make me feel happy and content if he wanted, but he didn’t manipulate me like that and I really liked that about him.
He seemed deep in thought, and I wondered what he was thinking about. I sat there, just staring at him for some time. Wow he really is sexy. He was sitting like me with his arms wrapped around his knees, just staring into the forest. He was wearing a black t-shirt that clung to his perfect body in all the right places, with dark blue jeans with his boots. I always thought he looked better in his casual clothes. “Thanks Jasper, for being here with me. Just sitting with you makes me feel better.” I wasn’t going to distract him, and the words came out before I realized it.
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” As he said that he looked straight into my eyes. Oh My God, his stare is so intense. It took my breath away. I felt my heart skip a few beats, and it took every ounce of self control I had to not jump up and wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him.
Jasper’s POV
Oh no, here comes Bella again. I braced myself for the anger and angst. Wait, did she just call off the wedding? What did he do to her?
She stormed down the stairs and out the back door into the garden. Man that girl has some strong emotions. When she’s around I either wanted to hug everyone or rip their heads off, or… I smiled to myself as I watched her run her hand through her thick hair, breathing deeply, her chest slowly rising. Sometimes I really wondered what it would be like to hold her closely and … I shook that thought out of my head. I wonder why Edward just won’t change her or at least try to satisfy her in some way. When that girl gets turned on, it’s like being next to Emmett. It’s hard to stay in the same room with her for long periods of time.
Alice walked in to the room and gave me that Go calm Bella down before she hurts herself look, I rolled my eyes. Why do they always want me to go after her? Just leave her alone for a little while, one of these times I’m going to end up just attacking her, and I don’t mean in an I’m a thirsty vampire way.
“Stop that!” Edward yelled at me.
“What, it’s your fault I’m always chasing her and calming her down.” What is it Edward, can’t handle a human girl?
“You have no idea what it’s like. Mind your own business.” I stopped listening to him. It was always the same story. "She’s too fragile, I could kill her”. But lately, it just seems like he doesn’t want her. I wonder if he’s just tired of trying to not kill her. One of these days I think I’ll just change her myself. He’d be pissed off at me, but he’d get over it as soon as he was able to get some. I expected him to yell or throw something at me for even thinking that. I turned to see what distracted him and noticed he was focused on Alice.
“What was that?” he asked confused. He was relieved and, was that desire, from what he saw in Alice’s vision?? Maybe my thinking about making Bella a vampire triggered something. I turned to go to see how Bella was doing when Alice exclaimed, “Oh my!” She turned and looked Edward in the eye for a moment and they both felt confused and lustful. Whatever, I don’t have time for their mind games.
“Let’s go, we need to talk, now!” Alice told Edward quickly and quietly, and they disappeared through the kitchen and out the front door. Hmm, wonder what that was all about.
I stood on the patio and saw Carlisle still sitting with Bella. She was crying, I hadn’t heard what they were previously talking about when she suddenly exclaimed “Great! I’ll be a sad, lonely, virgin vampire just like Edward!” I had to laugh at that and I sensed Carlisle restraining his laughter. He noticed me standing there and nodded to acknowledge me.
Quietly he spoke to her, even though he knew I would still hear. “Somehow Bella I hardly think you will ever be lonely.” He smiled and glance at me. I looked at him questioningly.
Bella glanced at me and blushed. “If it were only that simple,” she whispered to him.
He spoke to her again but I was lost in my own thought that I didn’t hear him. Bella and I being together, that thought made me smile. “…even if it isn’t with Edward.” I felt his amusement as he smugly said, “Enjoy your chat with Jasper.” He disappeared inside before I could read any more of his emotions.
I began to walk slowly to the end of the garden where Bella sat with arms around her legs and her head resting on her knees. She looked so pretty just sitting there. What was wrong with Edward, how could he not want her? I hated walking at a human’s pace so I just flitted to her side and sat down. She didn’t even flinch at my sudden appearance. She was stronger than Edward gave her credit for.
“You don’t have to come babysit me Jasper. I know they sent you to check on me.” Ugh, she was so sad and hurt, she felt defeated. I hated when she felt like that! It makes me want to rip off one of Edward’s arms and beat him with it.
“Do you think I just do whatever they say? I came out because I was worried about you. I just wanted to see how you were doing.”
“Like you don’t know,” she half smiled. It was a start. “You probably know better than I do.”
“Yes, I do,” I said smugly and she smiled a little more,“ but that doesn’t mean I still can’t come out here and try to help.”
These fights between Bella and my brother where getting more intense and more frequent. Needless to say we’d been spending more time together. Bella was different than I had thought. She was smart, sweet, and actually pretty funny, and not just in a clumsy human way, the way Emmett thought she was funny. We got along really well together. I felt more like myself when I was around her and think she felt more comfortable with me too. She was always so quiet and calm when she was with Edward and even Alice for that matter. But when we would sit here and talk for hours after these, whatever they were, she felt happy and content. It was nice to talk to someone. Alice and I have been kind of distant lately. I don’t really understand why. Maybe we’re just growing apart? It’s weird how we’d each been so connected to Bella and Edward lately. I was always calming Bella down and Alice was always reassuring Edward that everything was going to be fine. I shrugged it off. What’s the worst that can happen, we separate?
“Thanks Jasper, for being here with me. Just sitting with you makes me feel better.” She brought me out of my thoughts.
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” I turned to look at her and she was staring straight into my eyes. I stared back, unable to move. I could hear her heart begin to beat faster, and she stopped breathing. I was lost in her eyes when a small breeze blew her hair around her face. I slowly reached for a few strands of hair and brushed them behind her ear. I wasn’t prepared for Bella’s reaction to that. The desire she felt on top of my own desire almost had me pinning her to the ground and kissing her deeply. I had my hand in her hair and pulled her to me slowly. I could feel her breath on my lips, and she closed her eyes. I traced her bottom lip with my thumb, I wanted to kiss her so badly, but not like this, not when she just called off her engagement to my brother. Not while I was still married to Alice. I pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. She exhaled deeply and I felt her disappointment. I leaned down and rest my head to hers. She still kept her eyes closed.
“Not like this Bella. I need talk to Alice first. Do things correctly. You just ended your engagement. Let’s…”
We heard a loud crash coming from the house. We both turned and expected Edward to come running out, but instead we saw a high heeled boot crash through the upstairs window and go flying into the woods.
“Rosalie.” We said in unison. Poor Emmett.
I got up and held my hand out to help Bella get up. She stood up and began to walk to the house, I was right behind her. She did have a fantastic walk. She suddenly stopped and turned to look at me. We were only few inches apart. She grabbed the front of my shirt, I think to pull me to her, but instead just left her fist resting on my stomach, looking down.
“If you’re not going to kiss me, you can’t be projecting want and desire on me. I don’t have that much self control,” she sighed and I felt her blush. I smiled. I could feel her need, and it was making this harder than ever.
“I’m sorry. I will behave,” I pulled her chin up to look at her straight in the eyes. This wasn’t going to help, but I wanted to have a little fun. I leaned down and brushed my lips across the side of her neck and grazed her ear lightly with my nose, “for now.” I smiled smugly and released her. I began to walk away slowly. I felt her lust and astonishment. I stopped to compose myself and turned to her like nothing had happened. I raised my eyebrows, “Coming Bella?”
She muttered something, and it almost sounded like she said “not yet”. Ahh, I smiled. My poor sexually frustrated Bella. Soon, I thought to myself, very soon.
I heard Alice and Edward walking through the front door. Bella and I were sitting on opposite couches just staring at each other.
“Have fun you two?” I asked, not looking away from Bella. She finally looked down and began blushing.
“Not as much fun as you, apparently,” Alice chirped. “This is going to be so much easier than we thought.” I was suddenly confused. “Don’t worry Jazz, we’ll talk in a minute,” she smiled at me. “Bella can we go for a walk? I would like to talk to you.”
What’s going on? I asked Edward and he smiled.
“Carlisle is right. Things are a lot simpler than they seem.” He smiled at Bella.
“Ummm, okay. Sure Alice, let’s go.” She was hesitant, and looked back to me. I smiled and nodded. They walked out the back door and disappeared in the woods.
